I never really considered myself too bothered by the idea of people finding out about my kinky side. I am pretty open about a lot of things to a lot of different people.
My mom knows that my husband and I are kinky, met on a kink website and that we attend kink events together and with other partners. I also give her sex toy advice. My brother knows that I am a little, and his girlfriend (who is also little) and I exchange “little” gifts for different occasions. My best friends know MANY of the details of my sex life, and one of my best friends and her husband actually attended a play party with us once.
So for the most part, I don’t hide a lot. Anybody who doesn’t know is more so because I respect the privacy of my husband and his wishes when it comes to being “outted” in his personal life.
I mean, I work at a Church, so I don’t advertise my kinky extracurriculars and I don’t discuss the fact that I have multiple partners, but even then, I have always thought that I wouldn’t be devastated if people found out.
So last week, when I logged into getDare (another kink-ish site where I am a mod) to find a PM where I was addressed by my real name … my heart skipped a beat. I immediately felt sick to my stomach.
This member was not somebody I had ever spoken to. I searched his IP address and there showed no signs of him being somebody who may have known me under a different account. There was nothing obvious jumping out at me … and the worst part was that this random man on the internet, who knew my name, was upset with me because of an infraction that he felt was unfair.
I felt like I was in danger. I panicked.
Thankfully it was all (mostly) innocent – he found my name attached to this website and he decided to use that to shake me because he was upset.
He sure did accomplish that goal. I was spooked! I still am!
With Jaro’s help we were able to get my name hidden so that this doesn’t happen again, but geeeesh! I guess I am a little more jumpy about this than I thought.