I am fat!

Today I received a comment on facebook that said “ur fat lol”. My first reaction was shock. I wasn’t shocked with the news, I am not blind. I own a mirror, I have been weighed, I know that I am overweight. No, I was shocked that somebody would be so rude. My second reaction was “At least I can spell”. Did I mention humour is my defence mechanism.

I have been overweight my entire life. Part of it is genetics, my whole family is big. Another factor is the environment that I grew up in. We didn’t always have a lot of money, and so things that we ate were not fresh meat and vegetables all the time. Those habits stuck with us as we grew up. I also have a medical condition which is known to cause weight gain. All of these factors combined have meant a life of struggling with my weight.

I am not saying that there is no responsibility on me. Of course I have days where I choose to eat too many sugary treats, or weeks where my husband and I don’t feel like cooking and we order take out a few times. I am not the picture of health, but weight is just one factor.

I have been bullied off and on in my life for being fat. I have been called names, I have been excluded, or treated differently because of the way I look. I have been rejected more times than you can count. But you know what? I am freaking awesome! And really, it is their loss.

I may be fat, but I am beautiful. I have gorgeous blue eyes, soft bouncy boobs, an adorable smile (even when grumpy) … I am cute, generous, funny, and sweet. I make friends easily and am fiercely loyal to those that I love.

There are days where I look in the mirror and am not happy, but I think we all are. The important part is that I am happy, healthy and loved. And better yet, most days I love myself.

I could very easily let this keyboard warrior get me down. I could let those words sink in and put me in a bad headspace. I could get sad, or angry. But it isn’t worth the energy. She obviously was having a bad day, or a bad life and her negativity needed to spill out onto others in order to make her feel better. I hope it helped.

I am not going to let anybody dull my shine. I am going to continue to spread sparkle wherever I go. I will keep a smile on my face and continue to do my best to put a smile on the face of others.

I am fat! So what?

8 thoughts on “I am fat!

  1. You forgot to mention you also have an amazing voice!

    This is such a positive way to deal with people giving you crap like that! You’re an inspiration!

  2. Hi,
    Thank you so much for this post 🙂
    I wanted to start with thank you… Because that’s what people do…
    but to be honest, i am enraged…
    I live in somewhat same society if not worse…
    People see the fatness and think that the person is lesser, i have gained weight due to mental health medication and its a sideeffect, people, family, friends, everyone even after knowing its medicinal weight keep on comnenting “how i need to loose weight, how i am destroying my life”…
    and let’s not talk the people online, just because they have internet they have right to comment…
    especially being a sub, you put yourself in a position where you are vulnerable and when you recieve comments like, i prefer no fat, i will make u loose weight… It gets tiring.
    The thing is, only way to loose weight is to stop meds and stopping meds means dying… So, would you really do that to a person just because they are fat? I sometimes feel like world is evil enough to do even that.

    I am so happy that you look pass these trolls, and push through hurtful comments… Not everyone understands that sometimes they take a toll… But hey, you are beautiful! Inside and outside! I’d rather have pizza and be super happy than have spinach… Yucky…

    1. Thank you for your wonderful comment. It has taken me a lot to get to a place where I can bounce back pretty quickly from comments of this nature. Some days they still get to me, but I am a lot more secure in who I am now than I ever have been. I know I am amazing. I know I am beautiful. And if you don’t think so, then move along. I don’t have time for you.

  3. Everyone has defects, its something we cant avoid. Some might be worked around and some we just need to learn how to live with them. The most important thing i believe is learning to love yourself as you are (i know its easier said than done) and that if you want to change something about yourself you should take baby steps and change small habits one at a time.

    And about that troll, just ignore him. If you dont talk back he will get bored and crawl back to his cave.

  4. That really is terrible. Society has become about photoshopping “imperfections” away in order to create this “perfect” image. It’s taught people that it’s not okay to for others to be a different shape, color, etc. than them. Unfortunately, it causes self-esteem issues in many of us that don’t fit into this “perfect standard” of beauty.

    As a sub, I know that being naked on command is going to pretty common. The first time I stripped for my Dom and showed him my full body, I was self-conscious and nearly had a nervous breakdown. I have many insecurities about my body. My weight normally isn’t one of them because most of the day, I’m wearing clothes. However, with a Dominant or a sex partner, the first time is always a bit hard. I’ve tried to lose weight so many times, but I have a chronic illness as well that’s made that rather difficult. I was really appreciative that my Dom didn’t share the same views of my body that had been ingrained into my head. Instead, he told me that I had a great body.

    I think we are each uniquely made. We are each uniquely beautiful. If someone can’t see that, then that’s on them.

    – Sass

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