I have never really considered myself confident (or sexy, but that’s a different conversation). I have had lots of self doubts and have been insecure a lot of my life. I have really been working on loving myself and who I am, and have had the help of some pretty amazing people.
Mr. Devious has been a huge influence in that area. I truly believe that he thinks I am sexy and beautiful. He loves me for who I am. Of course, the kink community has been as well. Posting photos of myself in all states of undress and receiving compliments, way more compliments than I have ever imagined, has helped so much.
A week and a half ago, I started to flirt with a new friend in the local kink community. I was in an especially bratty and cheerful mood, and I was being extroverted and vocal. I remember teasing him about his choice to leave a group gathering early. I actually said the words “Its your loss, I am freaking amazing and adorable and you are missing your chance to impress me.”
Six years ago, I never would have said those words. Some days I don’t even believe those words …. but you know what? They left an impression. Later that night he told me I was sexy. I asked him what he found so sexy and he said “your confidence turns me on”. Hmm …
I mean, I have heard it before …. but I guess I never really put too much merit into it. Of course, it never really seemed to apply to me because I never considered myself sexy or confident and couldn’t even imagine a day where I would be able to put it into action.
Well, that guy turned out to be a jerk and he moved on, but his words have stuck for me, and for that I am grateful.
The last week I have really put it into action. I have caught myself saying things like “I am worth the wait”, “I am freaking adorable”, “Duh, I am amazing”. I am not sure if others have seen a difference, but I have noticed a difference in the way I feel and act. I am doubting myself less, I feel cuter, prettier, and dare I even say sexier.
I have taken some new sexy photos and shared them without hesitation. I have felt less self doubt. I have flirted my ass off and stood my ground instead of second guessing myself.
Maybe I am just faking it until I make it, but I feel confident. I feel sexy. It feels goooooood!