I talk about the importance of communication A LOT! You are probably rolling your eyes at me right now. I know you have heard the spiel … communication is the more important blah blah … You know I am right! But that is not what I am saying in this blog, I promise!
Yes, communication is the MOST important part of any relationship. It is a vital skill that I feel a lot of people are lacking. Good communication can solve so many issues. But … it doesn’t matter if you are the best communicator in the entire world, communication only works when others listen.
Listening is a whole other beast.
Do you ever get the feeling that you are talking to a brick wall? You are saying something important but the person you are talking to is distracted? or worse, they just don’t care enough to actually listen to the information you are sharing. SO FRUSTRATING!
Not paying attention when I am speaking to you IS not listening.
That is the most obvious example of not listening, but there are many other examples that are not as obvious. So many people DON’T listen!!!
I really do feel like communication is one of my strongest areas. Even here online, I write tons of blogs, I have a profile that is filled out, I have a signature with links to important information including my ad which has a very detailed breakdown of everything important about me, and on top of that, I am in chat talking with people all the time. But STILL people are surprised when they learn I am married, or when they learn I am a female.
Not reading my profile IS a form of not listening.
I have friends on here who know me pretty well. I have discussed with them many of my interests. We have played together so they are aware of my likes and limits. I have also openly discussed things with them or near them on multiple occasions. They know that denial is a limit! Yet I still get those same people wanting to put me in denial.
Not hearing me when I say something important multiple times IS a form of not listening.
If somebody says no, and you ignore it, that is not listening.
I will admit that Mr. Devious and I struggle with listening on occasion. We are NOT perfect. I will start talking to him and he will be doing something on his computer or phone and not actually hear what I am saying or vice versa. This can lead to me feeling frustrated and ignored at times. Mistakes happen. I point it out to him and he usually feels really bad. However, we can work it out with an apology and then undivided attention while I repeat what we I said originally.
Slip ups happen. People get distracted, or forget something you said … but when they do it all the time, it makes you feel unimportant, insignificant, not worthwhile and those are awful feelings.
Communication takes two people. Somebody to give the information and somebody to receive it. If somebody is putting the effort into communicating with you, sharing their thoughts, feelings, stories with you, PLEASE LISTEN TO THEM!