Confusing Kinks

Sometimes kinks can be soooooo confusing. It is bad enough that we get turned on by things that most people would find weird at best, and repulsive at worst. Who the hell knows why we get turned on by being peed on? or wearing diapers? or feet? 

There are a few specific things that really leave my mind confuzled! 

Denial
So, Denial is in my limits. It makes me so incredibly miserable if it is implemented for a few days, that I can barely function as a human being. However, the thought of being denied, is something that turns me on sooooo much that it can make me edge very quickly. And if I ask if I can have an orgasm, and I am told no? Almost instant edge! Being told ahead of time that I am not allowed to cum, makes me wet, desperate, needy, achy, horny, insatiable …. gah! Just writing about it is making my clit tingle and throb. 

Gags & Breathe Play
I am claustrophobic. Having something as simple as a hoodie around my neck makes me panic. Hiding under a blanket makes it hard to breathe. Having a hand cover my mouth makes me want to cry. So why then, does the thought of using a gag interest me. Why do I get off on watching porn where the woman is put under water, or is forced to wear a gas mask and her oxygen is limited. 

Control
In my everyday life, I have major control issues. I do not like others taking over my job at work, or even doing things without my supervision in the kitchen. I would much rather do something myself, so that I know it is done the way I want it to be done. I am a planner, I like to be in charge. I want to know what is going on and control how things happen. If somebody tries to tell me what to do, I rebel hardcore! I am very likely to do the complete opposite just to spite you. But I crave giving up control. I want nothing more than (the right) somebody to take control away from me. Force me to do things that I might not otherwise do. I have even gone so far as to fantasize about TPE at times. 

Fear Play
I hate being scared. Every year my mom would plan to go to a haunted corn maze and I would conveniently “be busy” each time. Scary movies make me hide. Haunted houses aren’t even something I go near. And if you want to jump out at me, prepared to get beaten. BUT … fuck me … the idea of being tied up and forced to watch a scary movie, or being demanded to go through a haunted house, or to face my fears in some way, it is terribly hot! 

Messy
I am a princess. Being sticky and dirty is not something that I enjoy AT ALL. When I eat waffles, I have to be very careful so that it doesn’t get on the other end of the fork. I don’t even like to scoop my own ice cream because I ALWAYS get sticky. I have always said that having maple syrup dumped on me would be one of the worst things that could happen … but … maybe it is the utter lack of control, but having somebody slather me with chocolate sauce, or pudding, or have a sexy food fight is …. yummy!!!

Ahhhh! Why do kinks have to be so confusing! 

Is anybody else incredibly confused by their kinks?

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