I enjoy anal play, so I never mind helping somebody who is starting out. After talking to a several users this weekend about this very topic, I thought it might be useful if I wrote a blog that included any tips or safety precautions I thought people should know or keep in mind while embarking on their own anal adventure.
If you are going to stop reading this blog after reading only one point, it has to be use lots of lube. How much lube? LOTS! There really is no such thing as too much. Unlike your penis or vagina, our body doesn’t naturally lubricate our anal cavity. If you don’t use enough lube than you will be very uncomfortable and can even hurt yourself and cause tearing and bleeding.
Of course, it isn’t just the amount of lube, but what type of lube you use as well. If you are going to go to the store and buy lube, any type of water based lube will work fine. However, I would suggest getting a specially formulated lube for anal play. Usually these lubes are thicker and slipperier. They also last longer.
If you aren’t able to buy actual lube, and are going to use something around the house (I do not recommend using household products for anal play), remember that some things shouldn’t be used internally. However if you MUST and are going to anyways, things like baby oil, or vaseline are better choices. DO NOT use things that are perfumed, like hand lotion and NEVER use soap. Also spit is not enough.
If you are going to keep a toy inside you for a long period of time, like a plug, use lots of lube, and then reapply often.
Choose the right object
Some objects are not designed to be inserted in your ass (see video “Not in your butt”). I would recommend that you start small.
A great place to start is your finger. However, make sure that you trim your fingernails so that there are no sharp edges. Also make sure that you do not have any open cuts. Lastly, clean your hands really well, including under your nails. You can also buy little finger condoms that are helpful as well.
Once you are ready to play with something bigger than a finger, make sure you use toys that are designed specifically for anal play.
There are many toys on the market that are safe to use. (If you would
like help choosing toys, I LOVE toy shopping and would love to recommend
The feature that makes these toys safe for anal play is their flared base or handle which prevents it from slipping inside you. The anal cavity is not a closed cavity like the vagina, so if it slips inside you, it is possible for it to become stuck.
Extra caution should be taken when you choose to use objects like pens, markers or food items. Even dildos and vibrators can be dangerous if there is no base to prevent it from slipping inside.
If you do get an object stuck inside you. Try not to panic. The easiest way to get it out, would be to sit on the toilet and push as if you are going to have a bowel movement. If the object does not come out on its own, you WILL need to go to the ER, as objects can get lost inside you and it is NOT safe.
Go slow and relax
There is no rush when it comes to anal play. Once your finger or toy is lubed up, gently place it against your ass and push firmly but gently. Relax your muscles. If you push as if you are going to the bathroom, it will help your muscles relax and allow the object to be inserted.
If you feel any pain, STOP. Pain is not normal. Pain is our bodies way of telling us that something isn’t right. It is normal to feel uncomfortable, or like a lot of pressure. But if there is pain, you aren’t doing something right.
Side note: Beware of numbing creams. They may seem like a good idea because it can help you relax and feel more at ease, but remember what I said about pain being our indicator that something isn’t right. If you are unable to feel pain, you won’t know when you are being too rough or going too fast, and an injury can happen without you realizing it.
People call it anal training for a reason. Today, you might only be able to tolerate putting one finger inside you for a minute. But tomorrow, you can try to put a second finger, or keep it in for longer. Like anything else, practice makes perfect. You wouldn’t go to the gym and expect to lift 200 lbs on your first day, so just go slow and build up your tolerance over time.
Prepare yourself properly
Anal can be messy, get over it!. There are many ways to prepare yourself for anal play or anal sex that will reduce the chances of things getting messy, but you can never completely remove that chance. One of the most common ways is to give yourself an enema. However, this isn’t always necessary (and it is actually unsafe to receive an enema on a regular basis) and there are other ways.
DO NOT restrict your diet or eat extra fiber or anything silly before playing. I have heard people say that you can prevent the mess, if you try not to eat at all the day of, or clean yourself out by taking a laxative. Both of these options will upset your stomach and will make it more difficult to really relax.
A better alternative is to poop before playing. If you empty your anal cavity and then shower and clean yourself, you will be sufficiently clean for solo play. If you are more experienced and want to clean yourself for anal sex, or anal play with a partner, using your finger while in the shower to clean yourself works well too.
Stay clean and healthy
As I stated before, anal play can be messy. But even if you don’t see a mess, germs can be spread and can cause infections. Make sure that before you start, you have a towel ready to put any toys you use on.
Wash your hands and any toys that you are going to use before you start playing with them. Make sure to clean them extra well afterwards. Soap and water should be enough if you do it well, but some toys are also dishwasher safe or can be boiled. There are also a lot of liquid toy cleaners on the market.
Once a toy has been used in your ass, it CANNOT go anywhere else, except to be cleaned. Do not put a toy that was used in your ass, into your vagina. You can cause very bad infections.
Also, do not share anal toys unless the toy has been cleaned really well. If you are planning on sharing anal toys, using a condom is a great precaution.
When having anal sex, using a condom is highly recommended. Germs can get inside a mans urethra and cause infection there as well. If you choose not to do this, then make sure you wash very thoroughly after sex. And your penis needs to follow the same rules as a toy. Once it has been in her ass, it cannot go into her vagina without being really well cleaned.
You aren’t a pornstar!
Well, unless you are. And then I apologize. My point is that porn is crazy. There are a lot of things that ONLY pornstars can or should do. Don’t set unrealistic expectations for yourself. Make sure you realize where the line between fantasy and reality is.
Stay in control
Like me, a lot of you enjoy an exchange of control in your relationship (d/s or not). But when you are trying anal for the first time, make sure that you take control and go at your own pace. This is especially true when you are playing with a partner. If they are using a toy, or their penis, have them hold it steady and let you move against it to control the pressure as you are ready and comfortable.
Don’t let anybody pressure you into trying anal play or anal sex. If you don’t have a good experience your first time, then you probably won’t want to try again.
Oh, I think I may have already mentioned this, but use lube. LOTS OF IT!
Remember that even if you follow all of these tips, injuries could still happen. You might push yourself too far one day and cause a small tear or some pain. Don’t panic. Give yourself time to recover fully before playing again.
Anal can be a lot of fun if you do it correctly and safely. I know I have really enjoyed it. But keep in mind that anal isn’t for everybody. If you try it and you don’t like it, it just might not be for you, and there is no shame in that.
Hopefully at least somebody has found this blog helpful. If you know somebody who has questions about where to start, feel free to link them here. But please remember, just because I posted this blog, it doesn’t mean I am not open to questions. I am very approachable so ask away!!
Feel free to leave your own tips or advice in the comments as well in case I missed anything.