I thought it might be helpful to include a glossary of terms for those that may not be familiar. If I am missing anything or you have a different definition you would like to share, please drop a line in the comments or use the contact form to send me a message.

BDSM: This abbreviation is used to encompass all of the following: Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism & Masochism.

ABDL: Adult Baby Diaper Lover

Aftercare: Aftercare occurs after a scene or play session to help the participants calm down from the endorphins that are released during play. Aftercare can mean different things to different people but may include talking about the session, physical touch such as cuddling, or listening to music.

Ageplay: Age play refers to a role play in which one or more participants act a different age. The most common is probably one participant acting as though they are a child. However, it can include playing the role of a teenager, somebody elderly, etc. Ageplay is different from being little or a DD/lg relationship.

Bastinado: Impact play on the feet.

Bottom: The receiver of acts in a play scene.

Chastity: When a person is put in chastity, they are prevented from touching or stimulating their genitals typically through the use of a chastity device such as a belt or cock cage.

CBT: Cock and ball torture

CNC: Consensual non-consent: This is a kink wherein there is a mutual agreement that continuous consent is not needed for a particular scene. Consent is still given at the beginning, but does not need to be explicitly given throughout the scene.

Denial: The act of not being allowed to orgasm or gain a sexual release.

DD/lg: Daddy Dom/Little Girl: This is a subset of a Dom/sub relationship. The relationship refers to a lifestyle in which there is a nurturing, caring relationship between the two parties. It does not necessarily mean that ageplay is involved.

Dom/Dominant: A person who exercises control over a sub.

Domme: The female version of a Dom

Edging: The act of bringing yourself or having somebody else bring you right to the edge of orgasm and then stopping.


Golden Shower: Peeing on or being being on.

Hard limit: A non negotiable limit. Something that the person will not do under any circumstances.

Impact Play: Spanking or using whips, crops, paddles, floggers, etc. to impact the bottom in a scene.

Masochism: Act of receiving pain for sexual pleasure.

Master/slave: A more extreme form of D/s which typically involves more of a 24/7 relationship.

Munch: A gathering of kinky people in a “vanilla” space. Typically in a coffee shop or pub.

Pet Play: Pet play is a kink where one or more participants play the role of an animal such as a cat or dog.

Play Party: A BDSM event that provides the opportunity for scenes or kinky play in a mutual space.

RACK: Risk Aware Consensual Kink

Sadism: The act of inflicting pain.

SSC: Safe Sane Consensual

Safeword: A word that can be used by a bottom to bring play to a stop.

Scat play: Playing with poop

Soft limits: A limit that somebody may be hesitant to engage in but that they may be willing to explore under the right circumstances with the right people.

Subdrop: Subdrop can occur after an intense session of BDSM play. The symptoms that are felt can vary but can include both physical (flu or cold like) or mental (depression, anxiety) ailments.

Sub/Submissive: The person who gives up control to a Dom.

Subspace: Subspace can be described as a feeling of being “high” that occurs during a scene or while being controlled. It may feel different for everybody but has been described as a feeling of being disconnected from reality or a “floaty” feeling.

Switch: A person who likes to switch roles between being a top and bottom.

Top: The person providing the action in a scene or play session.

TPE: Total Power Exchange: A relationship wherein the dominant has complete and total control over the submissive’s life.

Vanilla: Someone or somewhere that is not kinky.

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